FEATURED COMEBACK
former D1 athlete’s devastating ACL tear leads her to become a health & fitness coach
Athlete: Perspectives - Diemend Richardson
Diemend is a former Division 1 volleyball athlete for Grambling State University, located in Grambling Louisiana. Born and raised in Charleston, South Carolina, Diemend lived an active life of being a dancer, track runner, and volleyball player. Diemend had overcome multiple injuries, but the most humbling injury that led to her current career as an Online Health & Fitness Coach was the ACL tear in her left knee.
It was April 15, 2018. I remember laying still on the grass staring at the pockets of the sky between the heads of those crowded above me. I was unable to make out the many voices of “Get up Diemend”, “You good?”, but the one sound that kept replaying in my mind was the loud POP my knee made when I tore my ACL... the only image replaying in my mind was me being tackled, looking down and seeing my left knee jolt to the left then pop back in place when I made contact with the ground.
I remember telling myself “You’re fine Diemend, just get up”, “Just take a deep breath and you’ll be fine”, “Walk it off”. But when I got up my left leg felt like a limp noodle.
I was carried off the field and driven to my athletic trainer at the Division 1 university I played volleyball for. My knee was sensitive to the touch, pain with every movement, and watching inflammation within my knee rising every minute, my athletic trainer was unable to give a prediction of the possible injury.
The worst place to be is living in the world of the unknown; not having any answers. The next day I got my answer.
I remember laying completely still for the MRI looking at my knee elevated on a cold foam wedge, looking around at the lights, and back to my knee - scared, hoping, and praying it wasn't anything serious.
Within my four years of playing collegiate volleyball I continued to play with 2 sprained wrist, a fractured ankle, a pulled hip flexor, NOTHING could stop me! Until the words “You have completely torn your ACL” rolled off the doctors tongue, stabbed me in my heart, and weighed down on my stomach.
Of course I’ve heard of an ACL tear, but I wasn't clear on all of the details, so my first question was: “How long until I recover”. “After surgery, approximately 6-8 months” is what the doctor said, followed by “and about a year until you're comfortable and confident”.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
How could my body fail me?
Why now?
Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?
I felt like my world was crumbling down on me and on top of that, it was 2 weeks before I graduated college! What am I supposed to do for a year? All i know is sports, all i know how to do is to be active, all I know to do is to workout!
Who am I without being physically active? Diemend “THE athlete” is how I identified myself...
The 2 weeks leading up to graduation, I buried myself in gallons of Rocky Road Ice Cream. I ate for the search of comfort, and I ate to mask my true feelings.
Of course my first goal was to be able to walk across the stage for graduation without crutches. So for pre-hab, I was VERY consistent at physical therapy and in my dorm room; pure determination is what people would see when they saw me from the outside. But behind closed doors, I was an emotional eating mess. The pre-hab stage was fairly easy - I got promoted to one crutch in a matter of days. I grew big headed, I really made myself believe that I was different, that if I can walk in 2 weeks that meant that I could recover after surgery in 3 months, tops!
The doctor is wrong it wont take me 6-8 months that's probably for the average person but im an athlete! I am Invincible!
I walked across the stage crutch free - I felt accomplished! I felt like the battle was already half won, but in reality it had not even begun. I moved back home by traveling 13 hours by car from Louisiana to South Carolina.
When I returned home I found an excellent doctor that I felt was the best in the city to reconstruct my ACL and I continued my pre-hab process with a team of physical therapists that I felt confident in preparing me for surgery and getting me back to tip top shape for post surgery. Day by day, reality started to hit that i I would have surgery on July 31, 2018, I started to realize that the pre-surgery process was no match in comparison to post-surgery.
Day after day, I was stuffing my face more and more as the anxiety started to set in. I began to grow anxious, scared, moody, impatient, and pushed away people who were there for me - because again, I was placed in the world of the unknown. Not knowing when I would fully recover, not knowing the life and experiences to come.
The day of surgery, I was terrified. I was terrified of being put under. I was terrified that someone was about to cut open my knee. I was terrified of the pain to come. I was terrified of the discomfort that I was going to experience. I was terrified of the life and experiences to come.
I can paint a picture to this day of the very moment I woke up after surgery and it still brings me to tears thinking of the feeling. Waking up from a deep sleep to excruciating pain - waking up and looking down at my knee wrapped up and in a brace not being able to move it. It was that very moment that took me to rock bottom!
I couldn't move my leg at all!
I needed assistance to use the bathroom!
I needed assistance for everything that I took advantage of in my life.
I began to question myself: “Am I as invincible as I thought I was?” “Can I do this?”
My mindset was TRASH!
I grew negative and unconfident..
Diemend THE athlete, became depressed - became a victim of her circumstances.
Day one of rehab, my physical therapist said “lift your leg” I felt like I was in the matrix. I could feel the brain signals telling my leg to lift off the table, but it wasn’t budging. “Flex your quad muscle” - again, I could feel my brain signalling my quad to flex, but it wasn’t budging. The whole time, I kept questioning “how could my body fail me like this!”
Pity party of one please!
"I am an athlete. I am a competitor, and my only competition is that very person looking back at me”
For 4 months post surgery, I continued to dig myself deeper and deeper into a place of negativity with an added bonus of 20 pounds. But, one night after painfully making my way to the bathroom i got a glance of myself in the mirror and honestly didn't recognize the person looking back at me.
Who was this person?
It was that instance where I decided to challenge myself. I am an athlete. I am a competitor, and my only competition is that very person looking back at me.
At that moment I realized I was tired of not being happy. I realized I was the only one in this pity party. I realized I was making B.S. excuses for my behavior and bad habits, and most importantly I realized I had adopted a victim mentality.
Once I realized all of these things I made a decision...I made a decision to start investing in myself. I made a decision to develop a relentless mindset. I made a decision to start priming my mind for success. Throughout this journey, I discovered that you can have all of the nutrition and fitness knowledge in the world...but it is pointless if your mind is not in the right space. Your mind is your foundation! You will only experience growth when you work your mind AND body at the same time!
From that moment, I strengthened my mind and ate to fuel my body. Once when I was 6 months post surgery I was cleared to go back to normal gym activity. Of course starting off with my normal workout routine, my endurance was shot and my strength was wiped clean - instead of being down about having to start back at square one, I learned how to enjoy the process.
From January to March, I lost 20 lbs of fat, became my most confident and secure self, the strongest I’ve ever been mentally and physically. This all happened within 3 months because I made a life changing decision.
SPECIAL THANKS TO KEY PLAYERS IN DIEMEND’s RECOVERY:
Mom: Linette Richardson (a.k.a super woman)
Boyfriend: Diamyn Hall
Sister: Jasmine Sitvarin
Niece & nephew: Autumn & Dmitri (a.k.a my smile when I was down)
Best friends/ sisters: De’Jeauna Mullen, Janeé Harris, Miniya Shabazz
Surgeon: Dr. Graham
Anesthesiologists: Dr. Goodnight
Physical Therapists: Hunter Bowie, Tommy OQuinn, Rob Riley, MaryAnn Sims, & Jen Chapman
Front desk: Julie Dudley & Lauren Clark
“Forever grateful to my support team. I could not have done it without each and every one of them”